Book by George Carlin

For my second book review, I want to try a controversial book by a masterful comedian.  I have watched George Carlin do his routines for many many many years and I think that his comedic observations, while supposedly given mainly for laughs, are filled with "life lessons" for us all.
The book I am reviewing was purchased at Big Lots for $3, at the same time it was offered at Borders for $14.  Why would that be?  I suspect that the book ("A New York Times Bestseller") was not such a great seller in other parts of the country, and was considered a "remainder" where Big Lots obtained it.

The title, and even the cover picture would probably anger some customers.   The picture is a take-off of Leonardo da Vinci's fresco in the refectory of the Dominican Convent of Santa Maria delle Grazie. (For a marvelous study of this painting, go to  http://www.jaydax.co.uk/lastsupper/lastsupper.htm

George has inserted himself into the painting.. squeezing himself next to an empty chair where Jesus Christ is supposed to sit.  George has his modern day knife and fork at the ready and is saying the "outrageous" title of the book:  "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?"

This book is filled with jokes and sayings by George.. many of them should not be repeated in polite society.  But, regardless of how you feel about this, George has some great observations about this crazy world we live in.  I believe that since this is a book review, to give you a feel for what is in the book, I can mention some of these observations without incurring a law suit.

Euphemism Examples: 

Toilet paper has become bathroom tissue.
Second-hand clothing is now vintage apparel.
Answering machines are now voice-processing systems.
Reruns are now encore presentations.

And (maybe, according to George) this trend may lead us to sayings like:

The opera isn't concluded until the full-figured  woman offers a vocal rendering.  (ouch!)

or:

In the kingdom of the visually impaired, the partially-sighted person is fully empowered.

Segue:  I often told the original of that phrase to my son, Chris.  "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." This was my way of teaching the "work ethic."  One day, much to my surprise and pleasure, he presented me with a nameplate to be used on the Branch Chief desk that I occupied at Social Security.

 The nameplate read: Joe Vaughan,  One-eyed Chief. 

Mr. Carlin makes lots of other observations that I like, such as:

"I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven't changed much since I was in my twenties.  The only difference is I look a whole lot older now."  (How true!)

"If you vote once, you're considered a good citizen.  If you vote twice, you face four years in jail."

"I drove past a school with a sign that said WE'RE DRUG-FREE AND GUN-FREE.  Later that day I drove past another school that didn't have a sign like that.  What am I supposed to infer from this about that school?"

George also tells a lot of great jokes in the book.  An example:

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J:  I heard ... died.  What happened?

S: It's the strangest thing.  He was walkin' down Fifth Avenue on the way  to Times Square.  He took a right at Forty-second Street and headed over to Broadway.  He was just strollin' along, mindin' his own business, when suddenly a big chunk of concrete fell on him and crushed him to death.

J: ... What a way to  go!

S:   I know.  I woulda taken a right at Fiftieth Street, gone over to Broadway and then headed down to Times Square.
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I'm sure you get the idea from my comments on these examples that I enjoyed this book.  It was probably one of the last ones he wrote before his untimely death.  I heartily recommend it to you.. unless you are easily shocked.  Some of the language is crude and insulting and often juvenile... but remember what George tried to remind us:

Sticks and stones can break our bones,
But words can never hurt us.

I will not drop this book off for anyone else to read because I want to keep it in order to dip into it from time to time .. especially when I find that I am taking myself  too seriously.

... Oh.. before I forget.. George put a quote in the beginning of the book that rings true with me as I now read another interesting book:  In My Time, by Dick Cheney.  The quote is from Hermann Goering, at the Nueremberg War Trials, just before he committed suicide:

"Of course the people don't want war.  But, after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine that policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.  Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders.  That is easy.  All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."

How true, George.. thank you for reminding us .. too bad we keep forgetting this. 

Rest In Peace!

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